Friday, December 30, 2011

This Year

 Bon Iver, Bon Iver by boniver 


Alright, so this year is finally coming to an end.I haven't posted anything in a while, but there's been a lot going on . God, so many things have happened this year - so many ups and downs. For example.. Emotional breakdown, panic attacks, people telling you to do things you don't want to do. If you've gone through emotional breakdown (this year), if things haven't worked out like you wanted them to; so be it! You know, this year is over! 
Personally, I've gone through so much this year- HDD incident, heartache, isolation, everything actually. So yeah, emotionally, this year , was very  tough, i couldn't fight it, i wasn't able to stop the demons inside of me. But, it was actually a blessing in disguise. Whatever emotional trauma i went through, i came out as a strong, confident person.  I tried to channelize all my negative energy towards a positive thought, what happens is that I have transformed my negative energy and utilized it. I adore the darkness inside of me now, i actually love it.I think it shows in my photographs now,  am just trying to tell you guys how i actually felt when i was going through this stage in my life, my work has become very emotional, more personal and i am proud. I plan to stick to it. So, just let it out!
If I don't keep remembering that I'm not living according to worldly aims and values, that it actually doesn't matter if things go wrong, but that what is important is how I respond to these things then I can suffer. I can either suffer, or I can understand that this is just how it is right now. It's not my fault, it's not anybody else's fault, it's just how things have come together. I don't have to blame anybody, I don't have to blame myself, I don't have to fight or struggle or try to manipulate things so that they're different, all I have to do is make peace with things as they are.
Feel what you are feeling right now, it is very important. If you don't do it, you won't be happy; trust me. When we cultivate an attitude of letting go, of being present with things as they are and making peace, then the mind is more sensitive, more responsive, more intuitive; it is much more aware.Personally, people tell me that i am a very emotional person, i get easily attached to people, and that i should change.  You know, i just tell them- this is who i am, i can't change that, it's because of my emotions that i am here right now, at this stage in my life; i feel so confident in who I am and excited about who I am becoming  . Sometimes i cry too much, BUT - i love it! I feel so much better!  I think fear and sorrow are beautiful emotions; you just need to know how to play with it and cultivate it. I was waiting for a miracle, i stayed positive and i am grateful with how everything is right now.

I *Photograph my dreams* and i want to share those dreams with you. 

So, say goodbye to all your sorrows, be happy and wild! 

Much love, 
Bee

Saturday, December 10, 2011

You'll be mine

Hello beautiful people, 
yes i am going to post as many photographs as i can till am free. I don't want my blog to be dull. Yes, so these latest set of photographs are very close to my heart. As i said earlier, i am obsessed with long long hair. So i found a really beautiful girl who is also a friend of mine to do a small shoot for my book and a magazine. But, i never knew that she would be THAT good. I basically wanted to let go of some of the feelings inside my soul .

So, You'll be mine is a story about a girl who fell in love with the guy of her dreams, they were perfect, but all of a sudden everything went trembling down. She didn't know who she was anymore and lost her soul . Later, she gained her confidence back and said to herself, she is not going to let herself feel that way ever again. Though, she still loves him, but now things are going to be a little different and someday they'll be back together.


 Evening Hymns - Cedars by wavelengthtoronto 
















Model: Charvi Sarin
Photgrapher: Bhumika B

Much love,
Bee

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Fragile Hearts.

It's been so long! I miss blogging about life and my work. Things have been really stressful lately, both personal and professional.  ah, well i am going to blog about that later! I need to post some photographs on this blog! It's been a while. A few weeks back, i photographed beautiful  little girls ( 3  six year old and 1 nine year old) with super pretty hair!( lately i have been obsessed with long hair) and let me tell you, shooting children is not an easy task! My assistants ditched me at the very last minute + i was down with fever. Still, i managed , somehow.  But it was a lot of fun.  So here are the photographs from the shoot and the a little story behind it. Hope you enjoy them. :)


“Fragile Hearts”  is a story about four innocent sisters who ran away from their home to live in the wild. To breathe, to love and never leave each other. Being lost was the best thing that ever happened to them. Day after day they began to discover that the outside world is cruel, evil and will destroy their innocence. They want to stay in the wild and never leave. Hopefully meet other kids in the forest, practise rituals and elope one day into a different universe…












Much love,
Bee

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Inspire yourself.


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I get asked all the time, in emails, personal messages, on my blog; what inspires me and what advice i would give to young photographers . Like you already know, even i am young, even am constantly evolving and redefining my style.  So, here goes: 


  • Music - Everyone listens to different types of music. Some like RnB, pop, rock. For me, music plays a major role in my photography. For me Indie, Folk, rock work wonders. Because i can't post all the videos, here's a small list of music/people that inspire me. Maybe they'll inspire you as well. 











The list goes on and on. :)
  • Emotion: Major major major part! I get this urge every time i photograph someone, I want  my photographs to show how am feeling. If am sad, happy or feeling insecure, in love. Everything. Like i said earlier, i can't click regular fashion photographs, that's not me.  

  • Places: Now i know many of you ask me, where i find my locations. It's not a big secret, really. I am an explorer; maybe what inspires me, will not inspire you. A tree, a small garden where old people come for their evening walks etc etc. You need to open your mind and feel the wind. Spread your energy. Every time i find a location, i close my eyes and let the wind do the talking. really, am not kidding. I am a little weird.


  • Books:  Lots and lots of it! I love plays. A huge fan of History,Geography,Science and Political Science. I love the universe, planet and star. I love to read about them.

  • Be yourself:  I never click photographs to make someone happy, though i try to make them better each and every time i click an editorial. Take photographs for yourself first, look at them , if they make you happy and satisfied, then go ahead and show them to the world. If they don't like it. It's not your problem. If you're happy in the end it really doesn't matter at all.You have to be happy with your work. When i first started out, i experimented a lot, i still do. But, in the beginning i wasn't really happy with my photographs. But now, am happy, i am showing the world how i actually feel. 

  • Support If it weren't for the support of my family and friends; i wouldn't be here, writing this blog post. My friends have supported me through my ups and downs. Photography is a really tough business to be in. You have to be different if you want to stand out. I thank my Maa who's always supported me. My brother Nilesh, who's so smart and  constantly helps me with my decisions(Yes, he handles most of my client accounts and he's only 18). My Dad, for being so patient.  All my friends! I thank Aimee, she will always be my favorite model. If you don't know, she was the 1st person i ever photographed. And she is so beautiful!  Thank you Aimee. :)

  • Love and Be Kind : Never ever stop doing that. yes, i do feel hurt. Yes, i do get angry. Yes, sometimes i don't know how to react if someone says he loves me.  I've made mistakes, but never stop loving someone.  I can express love through my photographs but in reality am still learning. Be kind. 

I want to keep on writing, but i guess it ends here. I hope this blog post helped and inspired a few of you. :)
Much love,
Bee



Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Kashmir - II

We left Patnitop early in the morning and stopped by for breakfast at Peerah. It's a must! You get the most amazing Rajma Chawal! Nobody was hungry, except me and my brother. But, in the end we ended up eating 8 plates of Rajma Chawal+ 3 glasses of Lassi. I will definitely click a picture next time i go there! :) 
From Peerah the picturesque road heads north to Kashmir.  


 We stayed at Pahalgham for a night. To be honest, Pahalgam is more peaceful and beautiful than Srinagar. The place is simply breathtaking! High snowed covered peaks all around,streams,vibrant green foliage, and the pristine air are a sheer delight to the tired city lungs! So River rafting+ delicious desserts + snow = bliss!
We stayed in Srinagar for good 4 days. It is a little crowded, but we enjoyed alot. Getting up at 6 in the morning, taking bath in cold water because the geyser refused to work was something!  

 Lets move to Gulmarg now, where i almost died. Yes, it is true. -4 degrees, my right foot froze. My mother thought i was pretending. Es, she thinks i am a good actress. well, i wasn't joking around this time! It was later when we reached the hotel she realized that i was actually sick. so being sick in kashmir results in lots of vodka, lots of rum and lots of brandy. It wasn't that bad after all! :P 

 The journey was full of adventures! I have never enjoyed so much in my life.  I can't wait for my next trip! Ladakh, here i come! :)
Much love,
Bee

Friday, September 2, 2011

Lavender Dreams











Model: Orvana Ghai
MUA: Kavita G.
Styling : Shriya Kaul and Bhumika .B


Much love,
Bee

Can i love both?


When i was a kid, i used eagerly wait for my summer holidays. Since it is my hometown, Bombay has always been close to my heart. But as the years went by, I fell more n more  in love with Gurgaon. The houses are better, more spacious.  But, I get more work in Bombay. Everytime am there, i don't feel like going back home. But  alot has happened, everything's changed and this was probably my last Bombay trip. I know i say this everytime. But i hope i stick to it this time.


Now you know why it is so difficult to choose? Maybe my love - hate relationship with bombay will never end. Can i love both?
Much love,
Bee

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Amritsar- Kashmir- II

Part-II
I know i am super late. but lets being? :) Our 10 day trip started with a BANG! We took the metro from Gurgaon till New Delhi Railway station. Reached on time and my cousin comes up to me and says * The Train is running 2 hours late!* In this scorching heat, almost 40 degrees. All of us sat down, took out all the food we had packed and started eating. HA! i know but thats how me and my cousins are. A little crazy. Whilst everyone kept staring , we didn't bother. So after the yummy food, we found out that the train was running 4 hours late. God bless you Indian Railways. So my mother, being the superwomen she is. Told us jump into next train that comes, and yes thats what we did. With no tickets. Group of 14 people, God bless the  our TC, he was God in disguise. We didn't want to miss a single day , so reached Amritsar at 11pm. Stayed in a hotel next to The Golden Temple. It's divine.



We were there for just 1 night . If you haven't been to Amritsar, You must! It's divine and everyone is very friendly. And the FOOD! Super delicious food! The Lassi, Kulcha, Paratha everything! . We just saw Wagah Border from a distance as we weren't allowed to go inside. And Attari Station is a must see. Train from Pakistan comes Every Sunday and leaves Monday morning. So i asked the TC how much does the ticket cost? He laughed and said 25 Rs + Visa( Thats how much the cycle rickshaw wala takes from my place till the metro station; 30rs and ofcourse minus the visa. heh).  So if you plan to go to Pakistan for your next trip, you know what to do. 

Since we had only 10 days. We left for Jammu the next day. Road trips are fun if you have good company.
Much love,
Bee

Friday, July 15, 2011

She

^Drawings ^
I was just going through my book and said to myself * i haven't written anything for a while* so...

Labels. Funny how they contradict themselves, right? I remember till 10th grade, i didn't have many friends. i always tried to fit in, always. whenever i used call them, they tried to say it indirectly that *we don't want to talk to you*.If you cry, you're too emotional. If you don't cry, then you're impassive.In short, I was ignored.A part of me died, i wasn't confident enough to tell them that i don't need you.
11th grade - I have always been a tomboy, though i don't mind dressing up girly from time to time. But we are talking about 11th grade here, apologies. So where was i? yes i use alot of *I's*. Yeah,again, tried to fit in. Started hanging out with the cool crowd, but that was not me. really.Was never myself with the boy i loved. He was a jock.Maybe i never really loved him + then i found out that the boy never really understood himself.You know how jocks are? I felt sorry for him.He wanted to hangout with the *cool* crowd.[Though he wrote me letters(lots of them) or emails, whatever you want to call them. Es, i still have them.I look at them now and say to myself, wow. Ive changed somuch. Anyhoo, again i lost track. Apologies.] Spent alot of time writing, drawing, listening to music. Started hanging out with musicians. And then, at the end of the year, I decided something. Starting out another year like this ,was just setting up the rest of my life as a fake.

12th grade - I finally found myself, atleast some of it. I stopped hanging out with the *cool* crowd. It didn't hurt. I felt good, i felt free, I was me. I gave up on them [ cool crowd],I colored my hair, piercied my lip , I smiled as hard as I could.People who liked me for actually who I was. They didn't care about the dorky part of me that always corrected everybody's grammar. Laughed at my lame jokes.[Well yes, i am a funny girl. meet me and you'll know. ] I felt bad because the ones i used to ignore, were the only ones that actually cared. I met some really amazing people that year, and touchwood, few of them have become really close to me. You know who you are.I love you.


So this is part-1 of my story *She*.

Moral: Don't follow the crowd, mainstream is boring!

Much love,
Bee