Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Changing Circles

It's funny; But, I've come to realise that i tend to write more when something is not going right in my head.  I logged in through my id and realised that my blogpost was gone. Whooosh! just gone. I panicked , trying to find a solution and eventually  gave up.  My soul and body were not in alignment. 
(Girl: Karuna Ezara Parikh 

MUA : Sakshi Malik 

Styling: Shalani P

Assistant Photographer: Varun Bhatnagar.)


I admire chaos- but this wasn't one of those days. I was acting moody, shouting at everyone, just staying in my room  and writing/drawing. I got out every now and then- thinking that my mood might change- but, every time i got back , it was back to 0.  Then, after a few weeks of just being by myself and writing/drawing everything down- i realised that my diary will always always be there for me no matter what. Not judge me ( not that it matters), act mean or just leave.  I told a few of my close friends about it- broke down in front of them and realised that you need people as well to support and be there for you. I don't do that very often- but, am trying, everyday.  And, let me tell you, i am so blessed to have them in my life. Sure, i can jot down my feelings in a diary- but, that's it. 

A very close friend of mine said this whilst trying to cheer me up 

" If only we could help ourselves then this world would be a very lonely place. Put it in a balloon and let it float.

(Girl: Karuna Ezara Parikh 

MUA : Sakshi Malik 

Styling: Shalani P

Assistant Photographer: Varun Bhatnagar.)


Today, better than what i was a few weeks back, i finally logged in. It was synced to my personal account. This wouldn't have happened if my mind wasn't calm.  I feel better and i'll get better. 

Whilst going through my blog- i realised that there was this one particular blogpost that i didn't publish. Made me realise how far I've come.Maybe that's what i needed to hear- the old me - telling that don't give up- you've long long way to go.   So, here goes. :) 


" I personally think that broken hearts can lead to some serious creativity. I am not saying that happy people can't create magic, they totally can. but thats just the way i think. I know the world out there is very cruel and trying its best to change you, but don't be foolish! be strong and face your fears.
I don't think about the world anymore, sometimes loneliness is the best way to unleash your creativity. There are days when i feel " oh man, i can't do this anymore" and then there are days when i say to myself" I CAN DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD" . Its a curse/gift you have to live with for the rest of your life for being an artist.
Stop thinking when you click a picture and just take a deep breath and say to yourself i can make this picture magical!
I remember when i was in school, i hated math, i used to wait for art class to start. Funny thing is when i won my 1st award(all India painting competition) i came 3rd out of 1000s of entries. Here comes the funny part , when i got my medal and certificate , i told my mum" i didn't even paint that drawing" :s. she just laughed.
I think i was so engrossed in my world that i didn't even realize that i actually painted that drawing.
I would rather be called a daydreamer than some stupid employee.
I prefer daydreams over reality
Let me know what you think!
best,
B"

P.s I'll be posting  more images from this series soon. Thank you so much for helping me portray what i wanted to, Karuna. Thank you! 

Much love,
Bee