Friday, July 15, 2011

She

^Drawings ^
I was just going through my book and said to myself * i haven't written anything for a while* so...

Labels. Funny how they contradict themselves, right? I remember till 10th grade, i didn't have many friends. i always tried to fit in, always. whenever i used call them, they tried to say it indirectly that *we don't want to talk to you*.If you cry, you're too emotional. If you don't cry, then you're impassive.In short, I was ignored.A part of me died, i wasn't confident enough to tell them that i don't need you.
11th grade - I have always been a tomboy, though i don't mind dressing up girly from time to time. But we are talking about 11th grade here, apologies. So where was i? yes i use alot of *I's*. Yeah,again, tried to fit in. Started hanging out with the cool crowd, but that was not me. really.Was never myself with the boy i loved. He was a jock.Maybe i never really loved him + then i found out that the boy never really understood himself.You know how jocks are? I felt sorry for him.He wanted to hangout with the *cool* crowd.[Though he wrote me letters(lots of them) or emails, whatever you want to call them. Es, i still have them.I look at them now and say to myself, wow. Ive changed somuch. Anyhoo, again i lost track. Apologies.] Spent alot of time writing, drawing, listening to music. Started hanging out with musicians. And then, at the end of the year, I decided something. Starting out another year like this ,was just setting up the rest of my life as a fake.

12th grade - I finally found myself, atleast some of it. I stopped hanging out with the *cool* crowd. It didn't hurt. I felt good, i felt free, I was me. I gave up on them [ cool crowd],I colored my hair, piercied my lip , I smiled as hard as I could.People who liked me for actually who I was. They didn't care about the dorky part of me that always corrected everybody's grammar. Laughed at my lame jokes.[Well yes, i am a funny girl. meet me and you'll know. ] I felt bad because the ones i used to ignore, were the only ones that actually cared. I met some really amazing people that year, and touchwood, few of them have become really close to me. You know who you are.I love you.


So this is part-1 of my story *She*.

Moral: Don't follow the crowd, mainstream is boring!

Much love,
Bee


9 comments:

  1. ;0 VERY REFRSHING and original :) 'i' like it!

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  2. this is something that has always been there. We tend to ignore the ones that care and love us.
    We end up realizing that much later.. maybe when its too late (sometimes).
    An amazing read.

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  3. Just amazing. I really don't have words for your blog! You really have an amazing talent and different from the whole world!!

    You have a new fan :)!!

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  4. the post started off as life did ... confused at the beginning and yet settling/ focused at the end. loved the part one :)

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  5. yeah right , i have my own world , my own dreams , its about me , my love and my passion

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