This Year

 Bon Iver, Bon Iver by boniver 


Alright, so this year is finally coming to an end.I haven't posted anything in a while, but there's been a lot going on . God, so many things have happened this year - so many ups and downs. For example.. Emotional breakdown, panic attacks, people telling you to do things you don't want to do. If you've gone through emotional breakdown (this year), if things haven't worked out like you wanted them to; so be it! You know, this year is over! 

Personally, I've gone through so much this year- HDD incident, heartache, isolation, everything actually. So yeah, emotionally, this year , was very  tough, i couldn't fight it, i wasn't able to stop the demons inside of me. But, it was actually a blessing in disguise. Whatever emotional trauma i went through, i came out as a strong, confident person.  I tried to channelize all my negative energy towards a positive thought, what happens is that I have transformed my negative energy and utilized it. I adore the darkness inside of me now, i actually love it.I think it shows in my photographs now,  am just trying to tell you guys how i actually felt when i was going through this stage in my life, my work has become very emotional, more personal and i am proud. I plan to stick to it. So, just let it out!

If I don't keep remembering that I'm not living according to worldly aims and values, that it actually doesn't matter if things go wrong, but that what is important is how I respond to these things then I can suffer. I can either suffer, or I can understand that this is just how it is right now. It's not my fault, it's not anybody else's fault, it's just how things have come together. I don't have to blame anybody, I don't have to blame myself, I don't have to fight or struggle or try to manipulate things so that they're different, all I have to do is make peace with things as they are.

Feel what you are feeling right now, it is very important. If you don't do it, you won't be happy; trust me. When we cultivate an attitude of letting go, of being present with things as they are and making peace, then the mind is more sensitive, more responsive, more intuitive; it is much more aware.Personally, people tell me that i am a very emotional person, i get easily attached to people, and that i should change.  You know, i just tell them- this is who i am, i can't change that, it's because of my emotions that i am here right now, at this stage in my life; i feel so confident in who I am and excited about who I am becoming  . Sometimes i cry too much, BUT - i love it! I feel so much better!  I think fear and sorrow are beautiful emotions; you just need to know how to play with it and cultivate it. I was waiting for a miracle, i stayed positive and i am grateful with how everything is right now.

I *Photograph my dreams* and i want to share those dreams with you. 

So, say goodbye to all your sorrows, be happy and wild! 

Much love, 

Bee